Topic: Marred by Offence

Text: 2 Samuel 6:16 -20

Key text: But as the Ark of the Lord entered the City of David, Michal, the daughter of Saul, looked down from her window. When she saw King David leaping and dancing before the Lord, she was filled with contempt for him.

Offence is a deadly virus, it destroys beautiful relationships, truncates partnerships and ultimately weakens your health.

Michal loved David very much, long before he knew it. She was ready to do anything to make David her husband, even to the point of lying to her Father, King Saul.

David loved her too, he paid a huge price to make her his wife. Things seemed normal until Saul\’s hatred for David started affecting their relationship. David had to run away several times from Saul who wanted him dead. After a while Saul gave Michal away to another man, to permanently sever ties with David. That only lasted for a season, as David ultimately demanded her back .

This must have been a very difficult time for Michal emotionally, her dreams of a beautiful relationship and union with David kept slipping through her hands like grains of sand. Who is to blame for all this?

Probably, a second marriage had given her something to hold onto. Marital stability is every woman’s desire and prayer. But, that of Michal was short lived.

During David’s sojourn in the wilderness, among the Philistines and as he ran from one place to the other, he had married other wives and Michal was no longer the centre of attraction in David’s life. Maybe, this new status had altered the equilibrium in David’s house, and made Michal uncomfortable.

It is also possible that as David grew in intimacy with God, through the travails he passed through, maybe Michal had not grown spiritually too.

There are many dynamics in a polygamous home that could have weakened Michal’s love for David over time, that made it easy for her to take offence in the way he composed himself publicly.

When relationships start, there is usually one thing both parties like and appreciate about each other. As they grow in knowledge of each other, and execute tasks together, be it a marital or work related relationship, the affection grows. As understanding of each others values deepen, the relationship enters a period where it is strengthened to weather attacks from third parties or life issues.

Sometimes, the challenges of life affects the individuals in ways that change them and cause them to develop character traits or new values they didn’t have before. These changes threaten the stability of the relationship.

 My question to you this morning is, “Who have you become?” “Could it be you have grown so fat with pride, that the yoke no longer fits? Maybe, worry and anxiety have eaten so deeply into your heart, that you are so weak and faint and lack the strength to make any effort to keep the relationship going?

 Has trust eroded from your relationship? Who have you become?

The David Michal met and fell in love with, is not the same one who was dancing back with the Ark into Jerusalem, things had changed!

Offence doesn’t just happen, it builds up like plague in your teeth. If not cleaned out, it is prone to cause decay and with it comes,tooth ache.

Deal with the small misunderstandings, misinterpretation and misrepresentations that have started building up in your heart.

 Suspicion and doubt are fuelled by lack of effective communication.  Catch the foxes that spoil the vine, before the damage becomes permanent.

Michal waited too late to confront the changes she saw in David until it spilled out as a cynical remark about his public conduct. She took offence at his expression of worship! She didn’t consider that it was in reverence to God that he danced, It was not for the people he danced.

 Offence borders around our preferences, the way we think things must be said or done. How we execute a task is not as important as getting it done. When two people with strong Choleric temperaments work together, useful hours are wasted looking for the perfect approach to getting the job done, sometimes when they are unable to agree it leads to sharp disputes that can wreck the whole project.

Michal was mindful of etiquette and decorum that is befitting of royalty, but she forgot that the person who should be the centre of attraction is the ultimate , the king of all Kings!

When there is a disagreement between two people on views and opinions, the matter should be considered from the point of view of the King, how  our choices affect the kingdom of God , should be our priority.

 When they are seemingly “irreconcilable difference” if both parties seek the will of the King and his kingdom, there would be no divorce!

Michal was offended at David’s conduct, her timing was so wrong. She missed the opportunity to be blessed along with other family members. Could that be the reason why her story ended the way it did?

…. So Michal, the daughter of Saul, remained childless throughout her entire life

Offence can leave you Marred for life! When you decide to break the relationship. Some, like Ahitophel, have committed suicide due to offence. Barnabas and Paul couldn’t complete the mission together as God had planned it, because of offence. Barnabas walked away!

A person’s insight gives him patience, and his virtue is to overlook an offense. Proverbs 19:11 (HCSB)

There are always two sides to a coin, our differences are just a manifestation of the diversity of our God. It may look like weakness to you, when a phlegmatic person chooses to take things easy, but you need to understand that you have weaknesses too in some areas, and you need someone who is different from you to complement you ,so that the mission is accomplished to the King’s pleasure.

If your boss is angry at you, don’t quit! A quiet spirit can overcome even great mistakes.

So many people have quit their jobs even in ministry because of offence, and they miss a beautiful opportunity to get trained, sharpened and cut to size for the kind of vessel they are meant to be.

You were created perfect, but sin nature corrupted you. As you grew, the world around you influenced you in many ways, until you because a  marred vessel. Allow the Potter to work on you, he may choose to use your boss, your maid, your spouse, even your children to transform you. What does it matter who the Potter uses. Your eyes should be on the end result, becoming a vessel of honour.

Many years later, Paul asked for John Mark, but we never hear of Barnabas again!

When we harbour offence, it weakens our collective will, and impact. Euodia and Syntyche in Philippians just couldn’t agree. These were strong personalities who had contributed immensely to the success of the work!

Get offence out of your life, fight it the way we fight viruses, ask God for grace, its not easy but its possible! Take the pain to the cross of Jesus. If there is anyone who should have been marred by offence, it would have been Jesus, but rather he prayed for those who offended him.

When you get healed, am sure you will, remember to reach out to your John Mark. Don\’t die childless because of offence! Repent and seek reconciliation!

Peace and fullness of Joy!

I would love to hear from you if this devotional is helpful. Send an email to closinggapsko@gmail. com

Roses&Thorns